A Few Random Thoughts on Motherhood

In honor of mother’s day, I’ve got one more post this week about being a mom. It’s a short one, and it’s just a few observations I’ve made over the last 8 months.

1. Creaky Floorboards

If you had asked me before the baby if our house creaked, I would have said no. Now? I can tell you exactly where they are, which spot will result in the loudest creak, and exactly how far out from the creaky epicenter one must step to be safe.

2. Waste Not the Spurned Purees

This brilliant idea came from my husband. For weeks, the baby hated purees. This meant we had half-full jars of baby food that had not been consumed within the 2-3 day range. The food hadn’t really gone bad, but it was no longer fit for baby consumption.
So we fed it to our other child, the dog. He thoroughly enjoyed his three-day old organic sweet potatoes and apples.

***Please make sure that the food is dog-safe. Dogs should not eat avocado, citrus, grapes/raisins, or dairy, which are sometimes in baby food. This is not an exhaustive list, so please check before you feed your dog anything.***

3. Big Boss Moves

You know in video games during a boss battle when the big boss is in the middle and you’re running circles around it trying to hit in the back or grab its tail and throw it, or exploit whatever vulnerability it has? And it’s stomping itself slowly in a circle to try and face you?

That’s what the baby looked like in his pre-crawling phase. He rotates to face you, then you move behind him and he slowly spins himself around in that same clumsy boss-like manner. It’s kind of adorable.

4. Babies would make excellent video game guards…

… because they’re easily distracted. You know the ones. When sneaking in Skyrim, you can shoot one in the face and he says, “What was that?” or in Dishonored, you can, again, shoot one in the face, and after ten seconds of searching, he says, “Must have been the rats.”

Sometimes the baby has this level of attention span. He wakes up in the night and wails, only to immediately fall back asleep when picked up.

Walk too close, and he cries to be picked up. Until you’re back out of his cone of vision and he remembers that he was actually having a great time playing. And by playing, I mean banging toys on other toys. Or furniture.

As promised, I kept it short. Happy mother’s day and happy writing!

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